I wake up to the sound of babies screaming…again. My eyes can barely stay open and my heart is pounding. “Another day of doing the same thing” I thought to myself. I get up and grab my two toddler boys out of bed as well as my newborn daughter. I hold her in the kitchen while getting the boys breakfast ready.

They aren't happy about how long it's taking, so their idea of telling me they aren't happy is by strapping themselves onto each leg and screaming as loud as they possibly can.

5 minutes later I plop down at the kitchen table beside them and start feeding my newborn. My 1 year old boys are now happily eating breakfast….. I'm left in my overwhelming thoughts.
 
Is this motherhood? Constantly taking care of others? Being surrounded by nonstop crying? Being isolated in my home to take care of three humans who solely depend on me? When does it get better? Is this really what God calls us to do? Why do I feel so angry all of the time?

I force myself and my babies to get clothed. Two hours later (if you get it, you get it) we are out the door, strapped into the stroller for a walk outside.

While I'm on my walk with a very large triple stroller, I'm met with the familiar, “You sure got your hands full”
My response is always, “I sure do”. What they don't know is that I'm hurting inside. I'm craving something more. 

When I was a mom to three children under the age of two, I was craving a community. It didn't help that we were coming out of COVID and I had been in solitude raising three children for months. I had postpartum depression, no family to turn to, and anxiety about leaving my children with anyone else but myself and my husband.

After some time, I had a mentor mom point me to a thing called MOPs, which is now MomCo. I was hesitant. Why would a group of moms want to include me? Could I trust another adult to look after my 2-year-old twin boys and newborn daughter?

I walked into the church which was hosting MOPs, never having attended this church before and was greeted like I was already one of their own. The lady greeted me with a warm smile and introduced me to the woman who was in charge of the kids area. I was reassured that my kids would be taken care of for the two hours that I would be leaving them. They would feed my daughter her bottle. The boys would have their diapers changed. They would have their own fun lessons that would be engaging. My first thought was, “Is this real"? I left my twin boys, crying for mom, to go join my own group. All of the caretakers fully reassured me that my kids would be under great care.

And then I had heard something that I had not heard before as a mom…

“Okay momma, it's time to go take care of yourself now”.

“Me”? But wasn't this part of life supposed to be all about them? Feeling guilty, I walked reluctantly to the mom group. I was greeted with a free table full of fun things my kids could use…clothes, toys, books... even things for myself. After getting coffee and some food, I finally sat down with a group of other moms who had been assigned with me. My mentor mom introduced herself and asked me questions all about my life. After a few minutes of chatting, I told her, “I feel so guilty about leaving my kids. Do you think they are okay”? She reassured me that if my kids needed me that someone would come get me. I quietly sipped on my coffee and ate breakfast (without children grabbing at my plate). I listened to other moms and the challenges they were facing. I was inspired and encouraged by their own testimonies they shared after hearing the message for the meeting. I was listened to as I shared my own insight.

I left those two hours feeling spiritually FULL. 

I walked back to my kids - all extremely happy by the way - and experienced some things I hadn’t in a while: joy, peace, patience, contentment.

I left church that day excited about motherhood and what this next chapter would bring. I felt like I had found my church home and was ready to come back the next time.

I share all this because I want those same feelings for other moms. I envision moms having a chance to slow down and feel cared for. Too many times we are the ones who come last in everyday life. I want MomCo at East Side to be the place where moms feel FIRST and I want them to leave with joy, peace, and contentment - ready to fulfill their roles as “mom”.

Once I had a community of other moms that I could be real and open with, I started noticing differences in my everyday life.

Yes, I still woke up to screaming babies. Yes, those babies were still screaming at the top of their lungs for literally EVERYTHING. And yes, my husband's job was still very physically and emotionally demanding, but the changes I saw were in me.

Instead of feeling sorry for myself in the hard moments, I felt encouraged to keep going. I saw every dish that I washed as work for God's glory. I had peace amidst the three screaming babies in my ear. I had more patience for myself and the three beautiful, healthy children God had blessed me with. My circumstances hadn't changed, but my heart did.

Going to MomCo allowed me to be surrounded by women who were going through the exact same thing. We had a safe place to be vulnerable with each other and to be understood.

I learned that the moments of failure, frustration and imperfection are often where God’s grace shows up most profoundly. Each of our stories matter and I believe God creates a ripple effect of healing and support within the community. I'm excited to be a part of MomCo and to be that support for other moms in our community.

If this is something that you want to be a part of, click here.